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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| I just had the unfortunate luck of seeing an interview between Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity while I was flipping through channels. Like every conservative circle-jerk, they leave their clothes on and smile the whole way through.
Anyway, does anyone else think Rush has gotten really fat again since he stopped using crack? | | |
| I'm never exercising again during important televised events. It was a little chilly last night, and I decided to work out on a treadmill at my apartment complex's gym since I'm a big wuss about cold-ish weather.
After a found the remote, I tuned the tvs to the 'stros game so I wouldn't miss a pitch while I was doing my gerbil-on-a-wheel thing. When Berkman hit his 3 run homer, I threw my arms up to celebrate, and lost my grip on my iPod. I was determined to catch it, and as I tried to grab it, I accidentally stepped on the side platform on the treadmill. You can only imagine the rapid-fire series of events that followed, but it ended up with me knocking over (!) a stationary bike behind me and bleeding from my lip.
I called it quits after that, and apparently so did the Astros. | | |
| So I'm watching game 5 of the NLCS, drinking Shiner beer out of an Astros mug, wearing an Astros jersey HOLY FUCK ... Pettitte just beaned Eckstein. Great.
I should be studying for a flight tomorrow that "separates the men from the boys," OH GODDAMIT he just walked Edmonds. Edmonds!
Yea, sorry. I won't make this a play-by-play. Oh, i won't be coming home for Thanksgiving, but I'll definitely be in town for Christmas. I have a 2 week training period in late Nov/ early Dec in California, but after that I'll be in Houston until late Dec. Hopefully we can all find a time to hang out.
Oh, and I'm now on facebook, which is pretty damn addictive. | | |
| If any of you Houston peeps need a free place to stay while avoiding the oncoming hurricane, just gimme a call and I can get you my address in Virginia. | | |
| Grand Theft Auto
I learned two valuable life lessons today:
1) Don't go grocery shopping on the first of the month.
2) Don't ignore the batteries in your car alarm clicker.
I needed some groceries, so I figured I'd make a quick stop at the
local Food Lion this evening. As I walk into the front door, I'm
shocked at the amount of people in line for check out. Ten, fifteen
people per line (with all registers open), all with carts full to the
brim with foodstuffs.
I make my selections and head to the line, where the woman ahead of me
- who, incidentally, has about 3 cows worth of ground beef in her cart
- mocks my choices of yogurt and salad mix (among other things).
I brush it off, but I'm kinda pissed cause I know I'll be in line for
the next hour or so, and I'll be forced to be next to this woman.
Then, out of nowhere, this gut-wrenching smell hits me. Not just your
average, run-of-the-mill odor, but the kind that makes you tear up and
feel nauseated. It's the woman who just pulled up behind me, who
probably gets her exercise grocery shopping, or at least I think so due
to her heavy panting and profuse sweating. Nothing says aerobics like
pushing a cart down aisle 5.
So I'm stuck between Bitchy and Smelly for a good half-hour, but
somehow I survive and finally pay and leave. I found out the reason it
was so busy was due to the fact that the First is foodstamp day. Beware!
As I'm loading the bags into my car, I happen to brush my car clicker,
and though it hasn't worked in months, it somehow gasps its final
breath and proceeds to lock my doors and turn on the siren. I try, in
vain, to push the "unlock" button for a good few minutes, all the while
the hideous noise is piercing my ears.
In one of my lesser "Aha!" moments, I open the hood and rip the wires
out of the alarm box. I'd like to take a second to thank my father for
splurging on the foolproof car alarm. Thanks, Dad. Well, the nosie has
now subsided, but when I try to start the car, it won't start. Fuck.
Fuck fuckity fuck. Of course the car won't let itself start if the
alarm wire was pulled.
As I'm trying to re-fix the new problem I gave myself, a cop pulls up
in his cruiser, hops out, and pulls his goddamn gun on me. I hit my
head on the inside of the open hood in surprise, and yell to him about
how it's my car. He makes me get out my license and registration to
prove it. It turns out this woman inside the store had just reported
her car stolen, and he thought I was some super-efficient thief that
was coming back for a second victim.
He mutters a weak apology, and when I ask for help about my situation, pretends he doesn't hear me.
So, I end up pulling the cables off my car battery, let it sit and
reset the memory in the alarm, put them back, and drive home with a
bunch of now un-frozen groceries.
I'm glad to make the mistakes that all of you can learn from.
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